Exert from “Success on Purpose. We are here for a good time, not a long
time” by Melonie Taylor 2014 pg 31
I’m sharing this article that I wrote and was published in the May 2014
edition of Living Now magazine. The feedback I received was that it
resonated with many, and allowed them to make changes in their lives. I
share this in the hope of preventing others from breaking a limb, or having
a car accident, in order to learn the lesson of slowing down and putting
themselves first.
Kind Regards, Mel.
Melonie found that, in learning how to STOP and give to herself, she could
be happy and make more of an impact on the lives of those around her.
How can we be happy in today’s busy world? by Melonie Taylor
How often do we hear the saying that ‘times are tough’? ‘The economy is going
down the gurgler’? The situation with the asylum seekers is disconcerting
and unsettling. Drugs are rife and the future is looking bleak. The
government fight like cat and dog and the divorce rates are rising. How can
we be happy in such a hectic world?
When I go for a walk every morning, I find it interesting to see people
walking with headphones on, listening to music and looking so serious. They
walk straight ahead, with straight faces, on a mission to get their
exercise in. They get onto buses, off buses, and walk motionlessly to work.
They do a day’s work and repeat the same steps, ending up back at home. In my
home town of Ballarat in country Victoria, you say good morning to
everyone whether you know them or not, whether you feel like it or not.
Initially, when I moved to the city I didn’t say good morning. I ran ahead,
eyes fixed, in a hurry to get my exercise in before work, in a hurry to get
a faster time than the day before and always in a hurry to get things done.
I didn’t say good morning because I didn’t want to look silly and, quite
frankly, I was in too much of a hurry. If I wasn’t flat out, I wasn’t
happy. I used to put so much on my plate that it’s a wonder it didn’t break
years ago. I would rush around trying to improve myself each day and each
week. I would work, study, train, socialise with each group of friends, see
family, and by the end of the year crash into a blubbering mess. I would
put myself back together over the holidays and then repeat the same
sequence over and over again.
Then, one year, the best thing that could have happened to me was that my
plate broke. I was rushing around working, studying, and training for a
marathon, when I broke my wrist. The doctors gave me a certificate for two
weeks, but in my usual style I kept rushing. I had a compulsory tutorial at
university the next day and continued to work with one arm. Then, finally,
whilst also trying to write an essay, I came crashing down. My body said
‘For God’s sake STOP’, and this time I listened. I listened to the message
that I was being cruel to myself. How could I be happy? Start by being kind
to myself.
I used to always take the hard road. If there was a choice between the easy
road or the hard road, I would always choose the hard road. I was brought
up with the belief system that, to achieve anything in life, you have to
work hard. No reward comes without suffering and sacrifice. I was taught to
give to others before giving to myself, and if you had anything left, you
should give some more.
I didn’t learn the lesson when my grandfather died. He worked seven days a
week, made lots of money, was known as “the miserable old bastard” and died
without enjoying his family, enjoying his money or really enjoying
anything. I realised that he was repeating the lessons that had been taught
to him and passed on down the generations. He was doing his best from what
he knew and didn’t know how to break the pattern. He didn’t know how to
STOP and be kind to others let alone be kind to himself.
Once I learnt to STOP and I started giving to myself, I actually found that
everyone around me flourished because I could keep giving without depleting
myself. I learnt that, in being in a hurry, I was missing the opportunity
of enjoying the journey. I was in a hurry to get to a destination which was
leading down a road to a disaster.
I no longer crash at the end of the year and can support others in choosing
the easy road. I now have extra energy to give.
When you lead by example, you shine a light for others to follow.
I learnt to live in the moment through discovering self-love and that life
can be easy. Living in the past creates depression. Living in the future
creates anxiety. Living in the present can allow the receiving of the
journey’s many gifts. I now say good morning to others on my walk, and it
puts a smile on their face when they are jolted out of their daily mission,
which also puts a smile on mine. When we STOP and fill ourselves up , the
overflow pours out effortlessly to others and starts a cycle of giving and
receiving which significantly contributes to the world.